What I thought I would do is I would s好医生tart with a simple request. I'd like all of you to pause for a moment, you wretched weaklings, and take stock of your miserable existence.
Now that was the advice that St. Benedict gave his rather startled followers in the fifwifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报th century. It was the advice that I decided to follow myself when I turned 40. Up until that moment, I had been that c北京天气预报一周lassic corporate warrior --
其实这正是 5世纪时圣本笃给信众的主张，能够想见，其时他们必定恰当惊诧。而在我40岁的时分 我也决议采用并施行这个主张。在那之前，我必定是个典型的事务精英--
I was eating too much, I was drinking too much, I was working too hard and I was neglecting the family. And I decided that I would wifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报try and turn my life around.
In particular, I decided I would try to address the thorny issue of work-life balance. So I stepped back from the workforce, and I spent a year at home with my wife and four young children. Bwifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报ut all I learned about work-life balance from that year was that I found it quite easy to balance work and life when I didn't have any work.
Not a very useful skill, espewifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报cially when the money runs out.So I went back to work, and I've spent these seven years since struggling with, studying and writing about work-life balance. And I have four observations I'd like t今日美元汇率o share with you today.
The first is: if society's to make any progress on this issue, we need an honest debate. But the trouble is so many people talk so much rubbish about work-life balance.
A姜竣瀚ll the discussions about flexi-time or dress-down Fridays or paternity leave only serve to mask the core issue, which is that certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family.
Now the first step in solving any problem is acknowledging the re欧薇睿诺ality of the situation you're in. And the reality of the society that we're in is there are thousands and thousands of people out there leading lives of quiet,
screaming desperation, where凶恶骷髅战马 they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don't need to impress peoplwifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报e they don't like.
It's my contention that going to work on Friday in jeans and [a] T-shirt isn't really getting to the nub of the issue.
The second observation I'd like to make is we need to face the truth that governments and corporations aren't going to solve this issue for us.
We should stop looking outside. It's up to us as individuals to take control and responsibility for the type of lives that we want to lead.
If you don't design your life, 武界神刀someone else will design it for you, and you may just not like their idea of balance. It's particularly important -- this isn't on the World Wide Web, is it? I'm about to get fired --
it's particularly important that you never put the quality of your life in the hands of a commercial corporation. Now I'm not talking here just about the bad companies -- the "abattoirs of the human 粤语歌soul," as I call them.
I'm talking about all companies. Because commercial companies are inherently designed to get as much out of you [as] they can get away with. It's in their nature; it's in their DNA; it's what they do --
even the good, well-intentioned companies. On the one hand, putting childcare facilities in the workplace is wonderful and enlightened.
On the other hand, it's a nightmare -- it just means you spend 贾晓烨主持人相片图more time at the bloody office.We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the bounda绿帽文ries that we want in our life.
另一方面，这一起是个噩梦;由于这意味着你得在万恶的作业室里耗上更多时刻。咱们自己得担起职责 去设定并强化 咱们日子中的各种边界。
The third observation is we have to be careful with the time frame that we choose upon which to judge our balance. Before I went back to work after my year at home, I sat down and I wrote out a detailed, step-by-step deion of the ideal balanced day that I aspired to.
第三点是咱们得好好考虑以什么样的时刻单位来衡量咱们企图完结的平衡。在一年赋闲时 就在我回到作业岗位之前， 我坐下来 细细地 一步一步地勾勒了一幅我神往的完美一天的抱负蓝图。
And it went like this: wake up well rested after a good night's sleep. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have breakfast with my wife and children. Have sex again.
Drive the kids to school on the way to the office. Do three hours' work. Play a sport with a frwifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报iend at lunchtime. Do another three hours' work. Meet some mates in the pub for an early evening drink.
Drive home for dinner with my wife and kids. Meditate for half an hour. Have sex. Walk the dog. Have sex again. Go to bed.
How often do you think I have that day? We need to be realistic. You can't do itall in one day. We need to elongate the time frame upon which we judge the balance in our life, but we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of the
"I'll have a life when I retire, when my kids have left home, when my wife has divorced me, my health is failing, I've got no mates or interests left." A day is too short; "after I retire" is too long. There's got to be a middle way.
“我会享用日子的，当我退休了，当子女也都独立，当妻子已弃我而去，当我的身体大不如前， 当我已没有朋友，也没有任何兴趣爱好。” 一天太短，退休又太长。必定会有折中的方法。
A fourth observation: We need to approach balance in a balanced way. A friend came to see me last year -- and she doesn't mind me telling this story -- a friend came to see me last year and said,
"Nigel, I've read your book. And I realize that my life is completely out of balance. It's x6totally dominated by work. I work 10 hours a day; wifi同享大师,TED英文演说| 日子与作业的平衡要怎样完结？,濮阳天气预报I commute two hours a day.
All of my relationships have failed. There's nothing in my life apart from my work. So I've decided to get a grip and sort it out. So I joined a gym."
Now I don't mean to mock, but being a fit 10-hour-a-day office rat isn't more balanced; it's more fit. Lovely though physical exercise may be, there are oth盆腔炎症状er parts to life --
我不是要讪笑她，可是一个“健康”的每天作业10小时的作业室职工 并不会让她更“平衡”，而只能更“健康”， 健身运动确实是不错，但日子的意义其实很丰厚。
there's the intellectual side; there's the emotional side; there's the spiritual side. And to be balanced, I believe we have to attend to all of those areas -- not just do 50 stomach crunches.
Now that can be daunting. Because people say, "Bloody hell mate, I haven't got time to get fit. You want me to go to church and call my mother." And I und飞信erstand.
I truly understand how that can be daunting. But an incident that happened a couple of years ago gave me a new perspective.
My wife, who is somewhere in the audience today, called me up at the office and said, "Nigel, you need to pick our youngest son" -- Harry -- "up from school." Because she had to be somewhere else with the other three children for that evening.
我妻子就坐在下面一天她给我的作业室打电话说 “奈吉尔，你得去校园 接咱们的小儿子哈里。” 由于那天晚上她和其他三个孩子在一起。
So I left work an hour early that after摩尔noon and picked Harry up at the school gates. We walked down to the local park, messed around on the swings, played some silly games. I then walked him up恩维尔帕夏 the hill to the local cafe, and we shared a pizza for two,
then walked down the hill to our home, and I gave him his bath and put him in his Batman pajamas. I then read him a chapter of Roald Dahl's "James and the Giant Peach."
吃完就下山回家，我给他洗了个澡，给他穿上蝙蝠侠睡衣。然后我给他读了一章 Roald Dahl的《詹姆斯与飞天巨桃》。
I then put him to bed, tucked him in, gave him a kiss on his forehead and said, "Goodnight, mate," a爱播播放器nd walked out of his bedroom. As I was walking out of his bedroom, he said, "Dad?" I went, "Yes, mate?"
然后我铺好床，安排好他， 吻了他的脑门，说了声“晚安，店员。” 然后走出他的卧室。合理我走到门口的时分， 他叫了声老爸。“什么事，店员?”
He went, "Dad, this has been the best day of my life, ever." I hadn't done anything, hadn't taken him to Disney World or bought him a Playstation.
他说，“老爸，这是我一生中 最棒的一天，最棒的。” 其实我什么也没做。我没带他去迪斯尼乐土，也没给髂嵴他买游戏机。
Now my point is the small things matter. Being more balanced doe怪蜀黍的乖萝莉sn't mean dramatic upheaval in your life. With the smallest investment in the right places, you can radically transform the quality of your relationships and the quality of your life.
Moreover, I think, it can transform society. Because if enough people do it,
we can change society's definition of success away from the moronically simplistic notion that the person with the most money when he dies wins, to a more thoughtful and balanced definition of what a life well lived looks like.
And that, I think, is an idea worth spreading.